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作文題目：手機與生活
【寫作提綱】
1.解釋深層的意義：過度的使用手機會帶來一些嚴重的后果。
2.第二段從兩個方面具體闡明終過度使用手機帶來的后果：1）會影響我們的身體健康；2）會淡化家庭關系。
3.第三段首尾呼應，再次表明過度使用手機會傷害我們的身體健康和損害家庭關系。
�、� As is symbolically illustrated in the picture, people keep looking at their mobile phones even while crossing the road, so they have to use walking sticks in order to see. ② The picture ironically conveys the message that people in modern society cannot live without the cell phone. This essay will discuss some possible consequences of its overuse.
The negative impacts of spending too much time on mobile phones are obvious. One major disadvantage is that this behaviour would result in a range of health problems. ③ Addicted to staring at bright screens for extended periods of time, people may suffer from poor eyesight, not to mention pain in the neck and back, especially from poor physical posture. What is worse, it would lead to weakened family ties. Nowadays, our leisure time is mostly occupied by using mobiles, which diverts us from enjoying chats with our family members. Gradually, the importance of family relations is fading from our minds.
In summary, ④ it is undeniable that the overuse of mobile phones is damaging to our physical health and to our family relationship as well.
**段： ①“As is symbolically illustrated in the picture, people keep looking at their mobile phones even while crossing the road, so they have to use walking sticks in order to see.” 意思是“如圖象征性所示，人們一直玩著他們的手機，甚至是在過馬路的時候，所以他們需要拄著拐杖才能看見路”，來簡單描述圖片的內容，其中“As is symbolically illustrated in the picture”，引導的是方式狀語從句。②“The picture ironically conveys the message that people in modern society cannot live without the cell phone.”，意思是“這個圖片諷刺性地傳達了一個這樣的信息：現代社會的人們離不開手機”，來揭示圖片的深層意義，其中，“The picture ironically conveys the message that ”，“that”引導的是一個同位語從句，說明“message”的具體內容。
第二段：首句為本段的主旨句，并從兩個方面具體討論過度使用手機的消極后果。其中③“Addicted to staring at bright screens for extended periods of time, people may suffer from poor eyesight, not to mention pain in the neck and back, especially from poor physical posture.”意思是“沉迷于長時間盯著明亮的屏幕，人們可能會因為視力不好而遭受痛苦，更不用說脖子和背部的疼痛了，尤其是身體姿勢不好的時候”，“Addicted to staring at bright screens”為非謂語動詞作為原因狀語，“not to mention”表示“更不用說”。
第三段：進行總結。④“it is undeniable that the overuse of mobile phones is damaging to our physical health and to our family relationship as well.”，意思是“不可否認的是，過度使用手機會損害我們的身體健康和家庭關系”。其中，“it is + adj + that...” 是寫作中比較**的句型，表示“...是怎么樣的”。
由此可知，此篇作文的結構清晰完整，符合作文評分標準中關于“結構”的一項；其次，語言準確多樣，無語法錯誤，這也是UKiset作文評分標準中對高分作文語言方面的要求�？傊�，“結構”和“語言”是我們在四級寫作中需要重點關注的。
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資訊來源：英國私立學校入學考試資訊網
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